summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
