Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
