YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
