Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be

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(618): View more from Illinois

the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux

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(248): View more from Michigan

after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life

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(301): View more from Maryland

you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.

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(830): View more from Texas

we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

Isn't your room on the second floor?

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