worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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