I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
