Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
