found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
