enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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