so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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