Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
