i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
