your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
