My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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