the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
