How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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