It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
