I can't watch pbs sober anymore
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
