using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
