I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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