i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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