I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
