i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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