Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
