You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
