Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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