a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
