I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
