I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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