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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
