That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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