lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Randomize
