I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
