none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm getting married
To pizza
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
