they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
