none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
