Rock
Scissors
Fuck
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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