We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
