wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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