We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
