ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
