Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
