My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
