dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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