Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
