i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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