genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
