I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
