so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
