Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This toilet bowl is my home.
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